Mike Sechler's Blog

My 11-year-old son, Micah, died 5 years ago of complications from kidney failure. I wrote this just 5 months after he died, and only changed it a little to share it now. If some these comments seem stark or harsh at times remember they were written from the perspective of someone who recently lost his son, and that if you are talking to a grieving parent they may have similar raw emotions. The other grieving parents that I have met sure did. Here are some things that people said that helped and some that didn't. 1. Say you are sorry for their loss. This is almost certainly true, because almost everyone is really sorry to hear of a child dying, so you can say it sincerely and it is received sincerely. Also, you can stop here if you want. Unless you really want to go deeper and enter into the grief, you don't have to go any further. That is enough. 2. Ask about their child (or any loved one who has died). What was he or she like? I love talking about Micah. I don...

Here is an article I wrote for the November 2017 Newletter for our church, the Evangelical Free Church of Oakland, Nebraska. I normally post these on my ministry blog , but since this post is more personal, I decided to post it here. Thank You! Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 In this month of Thanksgiving, I wanted to be obedient to God, and express to Him my thanks for some of the many blessings He has given me. First, I am thankful that everyday and every moment, I can go into the presence of God because of what Jesus has done for me. I am a child of the king and my identity is secure in Christ, so that even when I mess up and even when I sin, I can run back and find love and forgivenness. The more this truth has become clear to me, the more peace and joy I have. Second, I am thankful for my beautiful wife and best friend, Traci. God has very...

So yesterday was the 5 year remembrance day for Micah's death. We took the family out and had a good time, but in truth my heart still hurts whenever I think about Micah. I made me think about a quote from one of my favorite books, "Lord of the Rings." One evening Sam came into the study and found his master looking very strange. He was very pale and his eyes seemed to see things far away. 'What's the matter, Mr. Frodo?' said Sam. 'I am wounded,' he answered, 'wounded; it will never really heal'." Frodo is wounded a couple of times in the course of his adventures and every anniversary of the days that he was wounded comes around, he is sick. This is what grief is like. Every October 18 and Dec. 2 (Micah's Birthday), we are especially reminded that he is not here and we feel the wound. The world is broken and we feel personally. I miss my son. Death is hard. I am so glad that my hope is not in this world. I can grieve, but...